Tag: life

  • The Myth of Silence


    I wrote on paper
    And was called a poet
    I wrote on walls
    And was asked to wait
    On a chair nailed to the floor
    In a cold, cold white room
    Where the only sound was of my breath;
    No different from a writer’s womb
    So I sat in the pleated emptiness
    With a glass of water left to precipitate
    Watching the walls seduce me to sadness
    When the pendulum peeled an eight
    And in came this ladybug green
    Glasses carved on the tip of her nose
    She had grey pad and a bald blue pen
    And a red ring in the shape of rose
    ‘Ahem, ahem’ She said ‘Ahem, ahem’
    And I coughed and cleared my throat
    She looked at me for a second
    Then this is what she wrote:
    ‘The subject is kind of rude
    He has no manners so to speak
    He sits like a beggar on his throne
    A man of power sold in sale to the weak’
    It made no sense, nonsense, I tell you
    For she was no poet for god’s own sake
    She was too tidy to have chaos inside
    And that is how I knew she was fake
    ‘The subject now seems annoyed
    He is watching me with furrowed brows
    As if I have stolen something of his
    And now pretending that everyone knows’
    Ah the audacity of this usurper
    Who claims my kingdom as her own
    I have pieces of paper in my pocket
    And a dozen verses to loan
    ‘The subject is trying to smile
    And I am feeling all sick and ill
    There is wrong with his mind
    He says naught but I can feel’
    She knows nothing of my madness
    Of how it hurts to sit and smile
    For only writing on the wall
    I pretend to die once in a while
    ‘The subject has tears in his eyes
    Maybe my saying something will change
    But what should I say at this point
    That will not make him seek revenge’
    The fool, the fool is writing
    And what a caricature does she draw
    Looking from behind a pair of glasses
    She writes what she thinks she saw
    ‘The subject does not comply
    To any form of my treatment
    So must be treated in harsher terms
    Or in an asylum must be sent’
    Oh I did snatch her pen and pad
    And wrote down my own choice
    Before you judge what others have said
    First make sure if they even have a voice…

  • The History of Hope

    He was born broken; one of a kind,
    A scarecrow one can find
    Here and there with splintered limbs
    Taught to always be half blind
    He was afraid even being undead
    As if everything he never said
    Can be heard through the silence
    Warring inside his uneven head

    His name he remembered still
    Amen; meaning to fulfil
    But there were ashes in his waistcoat
    Of people he hurt but forgot to heal
    So he ran and walked and also crawled
    Eyes wide for one who had solved
    How a caterpillar in the end
    In a butterfly gets evolved

    Days he spent in the random heat
    With shivering hands and on hobbling feet
    And at night he sought strangers known
    Who could tell where few roads meet
    And on bed made of carpet and cold
    He laid his flesh when it could no more hold
    The dreams of being young again
    When the promises were getting old

    And in the morning, midst the fallen dew
    He thought of his life when it all was new
    Now what he has was being taken away
    When he already had so few
    But as the sun climbs its ladder high
    He marches once more to relive the lie
    Believing same as Icarius
    Wearing feathers would make him fly

    And even today you can catch his glimpse
    The old man, who begs and limps,
    Through the mirror of mortal minds
    He is the maker of all the hymns
    One who tosses the coin for sun and rain
    The progeny of unrequited pain
    Hear his heartbeat as your own
    And in your vein his name: Amen.
  • Make A Wish

    The sky begins
    At the edge of your smile
    And I am the star
    You chose to find it
    Willing to fall
    To leave it all
    Just to be the reason
    Behind it
  • Transparent



    I painted a white line
    Upon a blank canvas
    And the people they praised me no more
    They could not see;
    That the painting was an echo
    Of my silence that wasn’t seen before

  • The Silver In My Song

    The broken flowers they fell at my feet
    Gold and silver, ebony and peat
    And I knew not where this road may lead
    Will I find in the end what I need
    And I need...
    A silence in the shape of the sun
    A bit of violence with the face of a nun
    And someone who won't turn and run
    When I face down the barrel of a gun
    But hear now...
    I don't have a penny to pay as your price
    I spend my nights cold and filled up on rice
    And I know my heart is my own greatest vice
    Always afraid that my love won't suffice
    You can see...
    Out there those houses of princes and kings
    Whilst I can only shelter you neath my own wings
    And I have no diamonds to tie our rings
    Just the hollow of my chest to rest your sufferings
    So beware...
    Of my sweet words that may seduce and sway
    They only ache so to take you away
    And keep you happy come what it may
    We will be children till our hair turn grey
    But I know...
    This poem seems just a practice in rhymes
    And does not cover the cost of past crimes
    But I shall spend every penny and all of my dimes
    For our today and the end of our times
    So...
    Never forgive if you want but don't forget
    The magic of those moments we met
    And I wonder if it's my heart you now so hate
    But wasn't our love written by the hands of the fate?
    Thus I say…
    The broken flowers they fell at my feet
    Gold and silver, ebony and peat
    And I knew not where this road may lead
    Will I find in the end what I need
    And I need…
    You
  • The Nuances of My Nights

                A poet knows
    The name of all places
    And directions to none
    - Not a Poet


    I write because it hurts
    And if I scream they will know my pain
    I don’t want to scream
    Don’t want to shatter the serene mirror
    That holds together
    All false reflections
    The world holds dear
    For the blame of it
    Would lie on me
    And I have enough confessions to pardon
    In my soliloquy

    I slept late yesterday
    There was a tempest inside me
    And my mind was anchored loose
    I was swayed, buffeted
    And at once painted still
    As if my soul
    Was the albatross
    From the Rime of the Ancient Mariner
    And I thought:
    Every murder is a suicide in a way
    Isn’t it?
    To surrender the right of your life to someone else
    Without a fight
    There are many types of murders
    Of trust, flesh and mind
    Common massacres
    Gruesome
    One of a kind…
    It’s getting dark

    I should have had dinner
    But the lights were too bright
    And candles too dim
    The plate felt soft
    And the spoon too thin
    Or was it me
    Who felt brittle and blind
    With so many dreams to dream
    And so few days to do
    (Now that was a lie
    For I cherish my own incompetence
    Like a child does it’s once favourite but now broken toy)

    I am afraid I have found
    The edge of my reason
    And the world beyond (And would you believe it?)
    Is a mirror…
    It seems me and this mirror
    We are obsessed with each other
    In finding faults
    In pointing out to one another
    Our own shrinking horizons
    Until one of us agrees
    The threshold of our limitations

    I slept late yesterday
    (No, I already said that
    Pardon, it’s the mirror reflecting my memories
    God I am tired)

    Good night
  • The Mist of My Mornings

    Why cry about things you can laugh at
    Said the quote on my bathroom mirror
    It wasn’t funny
    I thought
    And smiled to myself

    The nights have been short
    Or perhaps it was I who has been stretched thin
    Between two impossibilities
    Of being here and being there
    An almost everywhere
    Every thought of mine now
    Feels like a bullet through the brain
    The very last; and in a way everlasting
    But new ones creep out
    Out of this philosophical yeast
    Growing in the dark keeps of my mind
    Nurtured with cold sweat
    And self taught paralysis

    The toothpaste tastes funny
    Like old age
    These are those days of winter
    When sadness feels warm
    Like a hug or a cup of coffee
    Something to snuggle into and fall asleep
    Sadness; the elixir of a dying man
    Sadness, yes
    And melancholy (Pretty word)
    Made of me and the unholy:
    Thoughts, dreams, desires
    Snails creeping on a wet wire

    I remember a time
    When I dreamt of being a dog
    And lie on the carpet
    Of fallen leaves
    Dogs can dream, can’t they? (Yes)
    And so I dreamt of being a dog
    To come full circle
    A perfection
    My being complete
    A zero

    The wind from the window
    Touches my face
    And I blush;
    Love is in the air
    Or is it despair?
    How can one compare?
    When being utterly unaware…
    (I rhymed on purpose
    For they say poetry must taste like a painting)
    I gargle and gag
    There is blood in my spit
    A rose line
    Branching out like a symphony
    Clarinet and timpani
    Violins and bassoons
    Bach and Beethoven
    Mozart who died too soon
    The tap turns
    A thunder
    The tap turns
    All silence

    Good morning




  • December

    My finger on the window 
    Made a rainbow in the dust
    And I could see my watered down mirage
    Gasping in surprise
    Laughter; a dry mist
    From the flesh of my throat
    As if my heart knew the humour
    Was the one that I wrote
    (I wonder if the people sitting at the table
    Can hear, discern, decode, confirm)

    I should have worn socks
    It’s cold;
    The floor, the walls, the ceiling
    The curtains, the furniture, the feeling
    Should I wear it now?
    My toes are already numb
    And the ankles ache
    Yes, a mistake
    To wear it now
    Better to regret not wearing it at all
    Than knowing the comfort I lost
    It won’t solve
    Anything
    As such

    It is December
    I do not remember the last December
    Or the one before
    All the memories of past winters
    Are glued together
    Indecipherable
    I was alone then
    In more ways than one
    Incomplete, high strung
    To come easily undone
    But not anymore…

    She came from far
    The horizon was her home
    I knew her reflection
    Was same as my own
    Yet the ocean between us
    This sapphire separation
    Was daunting, nigh haunting
    With adrift ships and lost anchors
    And mad sailor men upon the shore
    And lighthouses blinking
    “Advance No More”

    We sell paper boats now
    Made of torn poetry
    And write poems upon onion peels
    And ripe tomatoes
    It’s beautiful
    The fragrance of homemade chicken
    And her smile
    And that nodding head
    And the dancing waist
    She is happy
    So am I
    This December
    So am I…
  • Found

    And the world
    It is falling
    And there are no secrets
    Left to share
    I am found
    Someone’s calling
    And all I need is
    To be there
    So it’s a goodbye
    Everyone
    And I shall see you
    When the summer’s sun
    Is finally won
  • The Cold Sun of Midnight

    I sleep upon the windowpane 
    And the glass cracks under my face
    Like lightning from my breath
    The night below is strange;
    Captured stars howling
    On streets and in houses
    As people dance
    To hide the shadow of their shame
    I can smell their perfume here
    Thirty stories high
    Scent filled with lost sleep and sadness
    It numbs me
    My throat, my voice
    And I choke without a choice
    (Should I shift? Should I turn?
    I do…and the thunder swims to my belly
    The glass gasps
    But the shattering never comes)

    Sound of a million footsteps
    Collapse into a single chord
    Time’s thread
    This linear, pinpoint eternity
    Do I merge or do I dare
    Far foolish when being aware
    That there are no ripples in the ocean
    Just reflections of the air
    Lives, candles
    Last days in wreath
    Desire turned dream
    Dream turned to death

    I now see the eyelashes
    Left by a lost time
    For cinders on the shore
    For hearts saying no more
    For children born sans choice
    Once people now toys
    And so the dying swans dance
    Vying for a chance
    To nibble the breadcrumbs
    Of broken down plans
    And I, this vain, stitched flesh in pain
    Lie supine, and divine, my tears through rain
    And sing against the chorus
    Those verses that say
    Ask and you shall get
    And to get you must pray
    As if prayers are questions
    As if questions would find a way
    As if ways would take me home
    As if home is for what I pray

    So I await
    Under the cold sun of midnight
    Watching myself
    Falling out of sight
    First a man
    Then a memory
    Now a stranger
    Forever a stray
    A silhouette
    Some shadow
    All silence
    Is what I say