Somewhere in between Our footsteps turned to music
I had a tendency to blink back tears To stitch myself beforehand Like a social vaccine so to say To stay rooted And choose no way For then the balance; it would break And I would have something at stake And I was afraid of being left broken Someone’s memory Another’s token So here was how I spent my hours With cold heart And long hot showers Making promises on blank, blind papers I wrote of stones that floated on vapours; Those dreams that were ruins from the start Still left so for they were born torn apart And the people they came to claim That all I could say was my own name Unaware, that all I had was my own mind That was seldom, if ever kind Thus melancholy is my poison of choice And sad smiles my go to guise For then I can claim to be Everything that isn’t me
Now the colours of life have dried And I feel like the fog of midwinter Spread across sleeping fields And quiet rivers running Like a toddler on a trail Without wisdom or any worry And no notion where to sail But as I look back at the way I have treaded I know it’s the same where now I am headed To my beginning To the end I am nosediving so I can ascend Through the little hells I have clawed in my bones From the promises I made to the unknowns Like those flowers I grew around my grave Knowing the wreaths won’t be there to save Me, from the parody called pain Watching my headstone go dry in the rain
Somewhere in between Our footsteps turned to silence
You came to pick me up in green And you came to see me off in ochre And so it feels like autumn in my chest Now as then When I count the seconds Left, till we meet again
This was our first October With mornings made of sore blanket Wet cheeks and warm lemon water Our feet draped in the sunlight Filtered through the faded time Of the year old newspaper I wish our nights had been longer Darker and deeper Like the colour of your tresses And I wish our clock had stuck at 3 am At that perfect hour When dreams take over And sleep had no power
The gardens we greeted Those walks that we shared Two bees out of the beehive Tasting honey in the air Weren’t our shadows far too behind Unable to catch us As we bartered the sunlight Across asphalt alleyways With strangers asking directions Of far off places And tying open shoelaces We answered in no For lost souls we were With everywhere to go
I can listen to you sleep all night long But the dreams that I dream of you divides me For I remember the first time I saw you I was wax in love with the flame Your face was my life on fire Your name was the name of my name And in the blank and silent space I saw my world being born again In the fragrance of your hair I found the petrichor of a long lost rain
By day and by night Through pages blank, white and yellow I read our destiny That started with a hello But now in this moment I am daydreaming like dust Your love is the water And my life is its thirst And the end I foresee; Is of us lying back in bed Sharing a single breath Till all we can say has been said
Summer falls on your skin And you become a photograph Taken in another time, in another world
There is so much to see in your smile In the delicate haven of your hair In the long awaited embrace In the absence of heat Under the cold bed-sheets Lying like lost Latin These folds of satin after satin
On winter solstice When the moon is a sorrowful sickle Or a pregnant womb of the invisible night I watch your form breathe The dark pink; this colour of our love As we hold on to the same dream Between our fingers; Like a tissue paper napkin
Do you dream of the daylight, child? When I hold you In the glass castle Where the vision of the world Is a filtered reflection Like thoughts diluted to diction, I suppose, you do All birds does And the Butterflies too
Your veins are in my palm And I am running out of breath On the cusp of madness I stay and I pray For the sorrows to surrender And bliss to find a way Is it too much to ask? Is it a leap of false faith? Will I find back the angel? Or fall down to death?
My eyes often betray The hurting of my heart When I walk and I talk While acting out my part But tonight, the symphony Is like syrup and the sea Goldfishes at the shore Eyeing my honey on the tree And I am here in the hall With strings in my hands And my soul playing a marionette That no one understands
Blue lines on my face Teardrops on my dress She said, she said There is no one at my place But he wasn’t standing far The man in violent garb Pining compliments Like flowers on the barb
His brutal hands were red From all life, playing dead And like a rose to the cactus She wed, she wed Merry was the man Like cherry blossomed lies The kiss was murder weapon Aided by garter and bow ties
And so years were spent Part in bruises, part as prize With smoke in the lungs With mirror in the eyes While the violent man he waltzed Alone on the floor With a corpse in his arms To a music playing no more
I found the whiskey sages Dancing in the dim Their eyes on the music And carved teeth on crystal rim They wore leather gloves and spandex They carried bullets in their heads They spoke of liberty and lunacy And took daydreams to their beds
I found the wounded women Walking down the aisle Their face a plastic painting Melting for a smile They held too many secrets Their eyes were far too bright For a world that loved the dark Who wished let there be no light
I found the neon soldiers Trapped beneath a grenade pin Soon to be a sea of roses For it is the war that always win They guarded children in the basement They were taught to stand and fight They were told the recoil’s same Even if the barrel’s wrong or right
I found my fallen pieces Flowing down the ice cold river My skin the colour of water Burning with an old fever: I had seen the cards beforehand And called out the eternal bluff With so many lives to play One life is not enough
I heard There are things Out in the woollen nights Mosaics of happenstances And matchstick quick delights A life of unbuttoned jeans and restless jazz And lipstick stained tissue papers Left on countertops Under empty whiskey glasses and beer mugs filled with vapour Proof of a life at once loud and empty Like a vacant microphone Filled with dreams of hunger Like a dog with a buried bone O how the mind meanders In the test tube alleyways A ghetto full of false fire Spreading shadow for many days
I heard There are people Who count the twelve strokes of midnight Yawn at the break of dawn And search for moon in the twilight And gather molten menagerie In the effervescence of aftershave Wherein the limbs are nests of Nirvana And love a motion to enslave Till the flame of faces; it withers, And only wax is left to blame Those shivering shadows differ Like every lover with a new name
I heard There are places Where mortal wounds entwine And life is bet on races Which has no finish line Here the dyslexic dystopia Begins beneath one’s roof And the mythical myopia Does not end without a proof Dying under disco lights I lay colour blind to the pain Needles upon my tongue And yet I am singing in the rain
I wish I could be the colour blue Not sapphire or cerulean But something old And something new As if waves of the ocean Are carrying pieces of the sky Moonlight and stardust Dipped in indigo dye A deeper azure A cobalt that will fade Part turquoise, part teal Your shade, your shade…
It’s a terrible tragedy you see To be away from you The farther you are The fainter I get The harder you hold The longer I wait Tonight the edges of my soul are clear And I can see my heartbeats through my chest They come and disappear They pulse and fade Alive and dead Red over red
I can hear the wall clock Can hear the teeter tatter of the seconds Turn into the silent hour An hour without you Then one and half, then two I am mesmerised in the act of missing you Part proud, part desperate Juggling memories and dreams Promises and themes Like Picasso and his paint Rhyming his story and history Balancing the devil and the saint
I close my eyes now and then And hold you to my chest Close enough to collapse Onto myself First in tears, followed by laughter Then silence much after Dents in my denial Rust on my reins I falter like a colt And stand still until it pains Deep enough for my marrow To call out your name Madly enough for my mind To believe that you indeed came
The night is falling fast And I am writing against the flow To reach the side of your shore Where you await in your pink bow; That tiara of innocence Which broke me Slowly apart Till I lost all of my aces To the hand of the queen of heart
So, I just want to wait and watch; You are driving me slowly mad Like the purple in your hair clips My soul is right kind of sad Ink on my puffed up lips I kissed your poetry tonight Blood on my fingertips From the verses I had to fight Now people they come and claim That they know you as well as me They may have tasted one drop sometime But don’t know the depths of this sea And I have fallen and I am falling Hand me the hem of your chiffon dress And I have called and I am calling To surrender my pieces of chess For it’s you who hold me now Gravity is not part of the game Let go and you shall see just how I get lost in the search of your name So, I just want to wait and watch; You are driving me slowly mad Like the purple in your hair clips My soul is right kind of sad
