Last Card of the Castle

It’s a terrible tragedy you see
To be away from you
The farther you are 
The fainter I get
The harder you hold
The longer I wait 
Tonight the edges of my soul are clear
And I can see my heartbeats through my chest 
They come and disappear 
They pulse and fade
Alive and dead
Red over red 

I can hear the wall clock 
Can hear the teeter tatter of the seconds
Turn into the silent hour
An hour without you
Then one and half, then two
I am mesmerised in the act of missing you 
Part proud, part desperate 
Juggling memories and dreams
Promises and themes
Like Picasso and his paint
Rhyming his story and history 
Balancing the devil and the saint

I close my eyes now and then
And hold you to my chest
Close enough to collapse 
Onto myself 
First in tears, followed by laughter 
Then silence much after
Dents in my denial 
Rust on my reins 
I falter like a colt
And stand still until it pains
Deep enough for my marrow
To call out your name
Madly enough for my mind
To believe that you indeed came

The night is falling fast
And I am writing against the flow
To reach the side of your shore
Where you await in your pink bow;
That tiara of innocence 
Which broke me
Slowly apart
Till I lost all of my aces 
To the hand of the queen of heart