Origami

It is the morning after
And I awake as an origami undone
Only yesterday I had her arm on my chest
With mine anchored round her waist
Balancing our seesaw soul
Making whole
Those pieces we planted 
Like bookmarks to find
The stories we memorised 
Keeping in mind
Going almost insane 
Being blinded by pain
Once kayaking in chaos
To feel alive again

Now I watch my face shiver 
In the ether of her eyes
Now I am fire cold with fever
Falling on the rise
She is here
She is mine
She has no say to say
Far near  
Dear divine 
So I kneel but not to pray 
Now I watch her face shiver
In the ether of my eyes
Now I am fire with her fever
She is falling when I rise

But I dare not confess that I dreamt of her
In the early hours of last night 
For that would be blasphemy 
My being alone
With only her memory 
Drenched monochromes 
Some charcoal art
Of me painting her toenails pink
And she murmuring shape of my heart
Waiting for the words to sink

For her voice is my hymn in exile
And here I wander, mile by mile
A broken kite
Dead dynamite 
Waiting for her mirage to draw me closer
Towards sun kissed horizons
Across daydreaming dunes
And purple fields
Of my pulsing past
Through this desert vast, desolate and slow
I search for her
As the seconds grow
 
I can see her white hands over black countertop 
Passing pepper into the pot 
Waiting for me to finish my worship of her
Waiting for me to open the refrigerator 
And take half a dozen eggs to scramble 
To toss and turn
The yolk and white 
In the shade of the dim light 
Wafting from her seashell skin
With wafer thin petrichor 
Of our last night’s rain
(Did I drown in her hair?
Did my gasps made her growl?
Did we swim in stolen silence?
Did our motions knew our goal?
To be, to be
Half mad in ecstasy 
The sea falling apart
At the lips of an estuary)

The dress does to her
What dust does to a diamond 
But she knows it not
Even when I beg; a child in disguise 
To breathe over her facets
Between her navel and her thighs 
But she laughs and she turns
Like flower between ferns
She waxes into full moon 
And I am a candle that ever burns
To ignite at her sight
To surrender without a fight 
To be answer to her questions 
Which were never answered right